You just never know.

....what this little thing called life has in store, huh.

On Tuesday morning, my Mum called to inform me that my stepdad (Denis) had suffered a stroke, with bleeding on his brain, & blood pressure that was unable to be stabilised.

Denis has suffered health scares before, but, he is as strong as an Ox....he is never down for long, & lives his life so fast & hard, you would be shocked to be told he was in his 60's!
I was, when Mum told me how old he was!!

My Mum & Denis got together when I was 13 years old.
I loved him in the beginning...then once I realised they had something happening...OMG, did I give him grief!!
My real dad is a bit of a .....situation.

I am the only one of 5 kids who has anything to do with him.
Denis took us 5 on as his own, & formed a particularly close bond with my brothers & baby sister...(he is the only Dad she has ever known)

The past 4 days have been filled with indescribable sadness....& ... regrets....I regret so so much, not telling him how much he meant to me.

I treated him so coldly, at times, & all he ever did was love me, & want to be there for us, & our Mum.

You know, I still kind of expect that he will pull through this.

His days are a mix of good & bad.
Yesterday, he told mum that he loved her so much, & that she is beautiful, which brought a huge happiness to her heart....the day prior, he was asking who she was...

Mum told him for me that I loved him,( when I couldn't make it back to visit)...& he said, "I know"....

So, for now, he is out of ICU, as there's nothing more that they can do for him.
It has been explained that they will continue to feed him intravenously, & do what they can, but, if his heart stops, they won't revive him.
They think that his organs will start to fail....& here I sit uncontrollably sobbing at the thought that we will never see him as we knew him again....

All we can do is pray, & thats something I kinda gave up on there for a while, but I tell you, I am praying with all my might....miracles happen....lets hope for one....no harm in hoping, huh?