... So lost.

I can look at my husband sometimes, & it feels that he is a complete stranger to me.

How does that happen, & more importantly, HOW did I never notice it slowly happening?

Anyway, have had an okayish past few days. We seem to stay out of each others way, & any conversation feels so fake & strained.

Before we chuck it all in for good, we are going to give some counselling a go.

We at least owe it to our kids to try everything.

Ch-ch-changes

So,...its official.

We are separating.

Biggest Loser

So, the series Finale was on last night,...with Lisa being announced as the first ever woman to win!

I am gross.

Pretty much the entire series, I would sit & watch while snacking on disgustingly chocolatey things.

I was fully aware that I was doing it, & even felt the weight creeping onto me since I have had my wrist op & backed off doing ANY kind of exercise whatsoever...(apart from my arms lifting food to my mouth!)

So...today begins some intense training & being strict on myself with eating correctly & healthily!

We have a full gym set up in our garage, from treadmill to weight sets, ab-circle pro, boxing circuits...I have no friggen excuse!!

So, I presently have a goal to lose 3-5 kgs, (I know it doesn't sound much, but when you are as short as I am, its ridiculously noticeable when you put on a quarter of an ounce!!)

Starting as soon as I put down this laptop!

Then tonight, I am off to Zumba with some old school mates.... can't wait!!

Sometimes....

Sometimes, I really can't see myself being old with my husband.

Sometimes, I really can't see why we are together.

Sometimes, ....we truly do have good times......

But,... is this it?!

Family Ties

I have had THE most exciting week!

Last Saturday, I jumped on to check Facebook, & had received a message from a lady I didn't know, Kel, trying to locate her partner Chris's family, as Chris's dad was deceased & he had never known him.

Turns out,...the man they were talking about was/is my Uncle!

They had contacted all of our family who had Facebook accounts, & we were all kind of reeling with the info!

Wow!! How exciting! Here was the one link we had to our Uncle Wayne, even though I was only a baby when he died, we grew up knowing about him, & knowing that everyone in Dads family was the way they were due to being affected by the loss of this man.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uncle Wayne was my dads eldest brother.

He had one son, Troy, to one lady, & another son, Chris, to another.

He had separated from Chris's mum, & was living with another lady directly behind my Nan & Pops house, in some units, where my Aunty, (& Wayne's little sister Jan) also lived, in a different unit.

One night, Uncle Wayne & his partner had rowed after a bit of a drinking session & Uncle Wayne fell asleep.

He never woke again. He was 27 years old.

His partner stabbed him numerous times & then went to bed.

She woke the next morning & went to my Nan & Pops to inform them that she thought she "may have killed Wayne."....

The lady was put on trial, but this was back in the day of no blood alcohol testing, & she managed to convince the court that she acted in self-defence and was not sentenced.

Meanwhile, my Dads entire family would never be the same again.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So,...what a shock it was to read Kels message!

Chris had never even seen a photograph of his Dad, so it was a great honour to scan & post that for him. He also never knew that he had an elder half-brother Troy, who we also haven't seen for a long time. Troy used to visit Nan & Pop, but then stopped, & I'm unsure why.

I have spent the past few days getting to know Chris & Kel & hope to oneday have a big family catchup with them!

Losing....everything!

Ooooh ahhh I lost my bra....

No, really, I DID!

I seem to have a missing bra. Of course, it has to be the favouritest one I own. Of course!

HOW does one lose a bra?

Don't ask me.

But its gone, I tells ya.

Have even searched behind the washing machine, in my daughters drawers, because, her father has no hope of knowing who owns what when he folds the washing in a moment of his domestic-ness!

But, nope.

It has disappeared.....

Oh well. Means I get to go buy another!

Over a year...

Holy cow, Batman!
It has been well & truly over 12 months since I last posted a blog entry. Oooooooh.

No excuses,...I actually forgot I even HAD a blog.

Well, back in the start of my non-posting, my sister would nag every now & then about having nothing new to read ( :AHEM: Meaning she didnt know EVERY freaking detail of my life, & I'd better get moving to speed her up! haha )

So....whats been happening?
Soooo much!

My kids,- ( I guess I should start with them, riiiight??)
I don't know how it happened, but, they are suddenly, like, BIG PEOPLE.
I mean, they still expect that I do some motherly duties, but, for the most part, if I could teach them to use the washing machine, I reckon we can have them moving out real soon....

Nice aren't I?
I recall a time when I would catch the sob in my throat at the thought of my babies ever leaving me.

Jake, who is now 15, seems to not speak much...just a few "Mmmm" "Nah" "Can I have some money?" tidbits thrown here & there at me, & me, well, shit, I'm just grateful to know he can still speak!

He tells us he's moving out when he's 18. Or maybe 21. He will let us know.
I told him a weeks notice is fine. (haha!)

The girl. *Groan*
Used to be sooooo sweet. Soooo nice.
Well, now....shes a moody little thing. (Genetic?)
Spends alot of time in her room. On MSN. On her mobile. On MY phone. Anywhere but with me...unless I have $ & she knows I would do anything to hang out with her that I would even spend it on her....!

The little boy. Still so super uber cute & spunky.
Also extremely cheeky. To me. I don't like!
BUT, on saying that...I am still the sunshine in his world....he adores me!
(Til he gets like those other 2, anyway...! :P )

And, I think thats about a wrap up from my end for now.
I will try not to let it go for another year between posts!!

Take care, anyone out there!